“Every time you want to make any important decision, there are two possible courses of action. You can look at the array of choices that present themselves, pick the best available option and try to make it fit. Or, you can do what the true entrepreneur does: Figure out the best conceivable option and then make it available.” — http://www.inc.com/eric-schurenberg/the-best-definition-of-entepreneurship.html
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“I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I’d just been myself.” — Brittany Renee (via creatingaquietmind)
(via quote-book)
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You could say that I’ve recently entered a new chapter in my life. I’ve really been fortunate to have been given such amazing opportunities, yet still… there’s something missing. Although its hard to complain given the series of events that have occurred within the past year, I cannot say that I’m entirely content.
These past few months have been fulfilling in a way yet destructive in others. I’ve caught up on video games/netflix, have somewhat of a social life, and have financial freedoms I previously didn’t have. So what is it? Am I no longer ambitious? Am I too comfortable? I wouldn’t say that - I still have a very demanding role and I put the same level of effort that I always have. And given the work conditions, I would say its impossible to become too comfortable. I’m still learning new things everyday and I’m fortunate to work with some of the best engineers in the industry but am I really growing?
Someone once told me to keep my dreams at the horizon that way you’re always chasing it. My work ethic has not wavered but I can’t say I’m running in the right direction. Or maybe I just don’t know what that next step is… What do I do now? Maybe there isn’t anything at the horizon right now, and I’m just standing in a big black empty void. This is sounding a bit depressing and emo…. but anyways, it started to occur to me, sure ok, I have current obligations that I do not intend to abandon - but I still need to do something for myself. I need to find what this next step is.
I haven’t found myself being given the right outlets to properly channel creativity in a meaningful way. I want a fresh start, something entirely new, non-gaming related and take my experience from Astro Ape and build something new.
There is something about brainstorming new innovative ideas that is so damn invigorating. The same kind of excitement that makes working til 3am feel like nothing. Even if its doomed for failure, and even though I know I have very limited free time, I have to at least do SOMETHING because damnit it’s been a long time since something has gotten me fired up… well okay maybe not that LONG but you know, It’s like, you get off a roller coaster ride and you want to get back on and do it again - you don’t want to wait in line. I’ve been called impatient all my life, and maybe that could be it, but in this case, why wait? Fuck it, I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna start something new.
In front of the MS building (Taken with instagram)
Santacon! @ Grand Central
I want to build something new…
I want to change the world…
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Blacked out :)
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The way you walk, that’s me
The way you talk, that’s me
The way you’ve got your hair up, did you forget that’s me?
And the voice in the speaker right now, that’s me, that’s me
And the voice in your ear, that’s me
Can’t you see that I made it?
Yeah I made it
First I made you who you are, then I made it
I really need to get over my fear of public speaking. I guess i’ll get some practice next week.
“Who we are is but a stepping stone to what we can become.”
If it weren’t for you, Astro Ape wouldn’t have existed and not only because of the platform you created but because you’ve inspired me to follow my heart and build something I’m passionate about.
May you rest in peace, and your spirit live on through peoples’ pursuit of their own dreams.